Sometimes it happens that we are in a stable, happy relationship that seems perfect. But suddenly, zaz! You find out that your partner was unfaithful or you yourself fell into temptation and cheated on him. Infidelity is something ubiquitous in love stories, in fact, it is rather common and not an extraordinary event. With no intention of justifying treason, you have to try to understand the reasons that can lead a person to risk what seems like a #RelationshipGoals.
It is increasingly common to find couples who experiment with. However, when two people have a sex-affective exclusivity agreement, a deception counts as high treason and hurts horrible.
The betrayed person feels mocked or that it is not enough to meet the needs of their partner. It is a strong blow to self-esteem and it is devastating for the relationship, since the trust that was broken is very difficult.
Check out these possible explanations for why there could be infidelity in a couple who is fully happy:
1. We are not monogamous by nature
Scientists from different branches, such as biology, sociology and psychology, agree that humans are not made to be monogamous. Choosing a mate for life is a phenomenon that only occurs in a minimal percentage of species naturally. Spoiler: the human being is not one of them.
Monogamy is rather a social construction created from the arrival of private property. The patriarchs, and especially royalty, needed to ensure that their property and titles were inherited from someone “of their blood.”
This is very different in societies with a completely different vision regarding material possession. In them it is common to find that polygamy is the rule, either for men, women or both.
2. It is in our genes
According to research from Binghamton University, there is a gene responsible for a certain percentage of the population being more prone to promiscuity and being unfaithful, regardless of their social context. In these people, a dopamine receptor linked to addictions has a different composition. This results in them enjoying the excitement of engaging in extramarital affairs more.
3. To feed the ego
As a relationship becomes more solid and stable, the wild physical attraction that united them at the beginning begins to be in the background, to give rise to other elements of lasting love: mutual knowledge, acceptance, trust, respect and of course, daily life.
There are times when one or both feel that “the spark” is lost and that they no longer attract their partner as before. Therefore, they seek to reaffirm their power of seduction through an adventure. That is, they need to feel again those “butterflies” and the emotion of knowing they are wanted.
Stability and harmony in a relationship almost always have a side effect: monotony. We must accept that the routine is usually overwhelming. Even more when the children arrive and the opportunities to be spontaneous begin to be scarce or disappear.
Thus, the couple falls into boredom and, although there are people who can live with it without anger, for others it is unbearable. While some choose to strive to “recover the emotion”, there are those who prefer to look for a simple adventure to give an interesting turn to their lives.
5. Because you can
Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) said it well in ‘Sex and the City’: ” Men are unfaithful for the same reason that dogs lick their balls: because they can. ” But beware, now that more than 20 years have passed since the series premiered, the phrase applies equally to men and women.
We have all experienced one of those moments when you care little (or nothing) about the consequences. You don’t care if that will harm your relationship or that you could hurt your partner, and you just let yourself go.
Suddenly the opportunity presents itself, nobody is watching you, you think your partner will never find out, and you do! It’s that simple.
6. The need to take any flirting to bed
Relationship expert Mario Burrow says that people who are usually unfaithful do so out of necessity. That is, there are those who need that all kinds of attraction they experience always end in an act s3xu4l.
So when they are attracted to a person and their flirtation is reciprocated, they cannot stop there. Something inside encourages them to act and take the situation to the end to be satisfied.
Infidelity is a personal decision and the other should never be blamed for individual behavior and actions. Your partner can have a thousand justifications for being unfaithful and they have nothing to do with you.
It is not easy to overcome a deception. Often a betrayal means the end of the relationship, however beautiful and perfect it is. Therefore . And if the party is deceived, evaluate well whether we are able to forgive or not.
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