5 rules for inviting a woman out (and always getting a yes)

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5 rules for inviting a woman out (and always getting a yes)







© GQ France



Invite a woman to go out is an art in its own right, or rather a science tricky in which just by changing one ingredient everything can turn into a disaster, which in this case means you will end up being rejected or even blocked permanently. The problem is, asking someone out on a date is always a bit stressful, a lot can go wrong, and while you are sure of yourself, you know you are exposing yourself and that there is at least 50% chance that the latter will say no, and no one likes to feel rejected (it hurts). It is clear that this is not the end of the world, but recent research indicates that the social pain experienced after rejection shares some of the same elements as physical pain, which means being rejected can be as painful as banging your elbow on the corner of the table. In some cases the rejection is so bad that some people stop taking risks and prefer not to expose themselves in this way to avoid feeling like this again.

Elio’s father says it well in Call Me By Your Name : “When we least expect it, Nature manages to find our weak point. Just remember one thing: I’m here. Today, you may not want to feel anything anymore. Maybe you never wanted to feel anything. And maybe I’m the last person you want to talk to about all of this. But what is certain is that you felt something. ”

Taking risks is always the best option, especially if you don’t want to find yourself alone (it’s okay to want to be single forever, but not everyone wants the same), but when it comes to asking a woman (or someone else) to date you, there are certain things that need to come into play to get a good result and avoid rejection. Whether in person, via an app, by SMS or on the phone, there are five basic rules that you should keep in mind before inviting someone out to do it the right way.

Don’t think too much

Spinning the thing will get you nowhere. According to psychologists, most men are afraid of rejection and this can cause them to think too much before making a decision which can cause them to miss the opportunity. The best thing you can do is turn off the voices in your brain, don’t overthink it, keep it simple, and take the plunge. You don’t have to super creatively invite or think of the craziest plan, just go the old-fashioned way and invite her over for dinner or a drink, which are some of the best options for a first time. Appointment.

Keep it simple and straightforward

She won’t read your mind and understand what you are saying if you don’t speak. “Don’t be lazy with a question like ‘Do you want to go out?’ Be specific in inviting them out, ”says Kristie Overstreet, sexologist and clinical psychotherapist. “For example: Do you have time for dinner Tuesday night? Show that you care about them as a person rather than just someone to ‘hang out’ with. If you want to go out with someone, make a date or else you’ll just confuse the other person. ”

Remember to be yourself

Lying on your “CV” is not the smartest thing to do, the truth always comes out and in the end you won’t be able to continue. lie, so stop imitating the movies, tell him what you think he wants to hear and start doing and saying what you really want. Authenticity and honesty can go a long way.

If you invited her by message, pay attention to the response

The fact of not having a definitive yes (when it comes to an invitation to go out) does not mean that it is a definitive no, so we must analyze the situation. If the person is busy and doesn’t offer you another alternative, then they are probably not interested, but, if they tell you that they can’t at that time, but offers you another date or other option, then you have a chance and you just have to change the date, so don’t see that as a denial. If they don’t respond the first time, the recommendation is to try again, but, if this second time there’s no response either, then it’s time to take the hint.

If you want to invite him in person, start by having a little chat

Do not approach a women that you don’t know to ask her out with you before greeting her, start with a “little talk”, talk a little, find common ground, and go over her response (don’t forget to ask her for her first name and a few things about her and what she likes). If you notice any interest, then start thinking about your invitation. Pay attention to your body language and listen to what she is saying, this can give you an idea of ​​what kind of date you can invite her to. Finally, with all the information you need, you can ask the question, but remember to start with something simple, inviting a stranger out for the weekend can be a bit of a stretch.

If the answer is no, accept it

No is no, so the best thing you can do for your ego and your reputation is to learn to accept it. Not all women are going to want to date you and that’s okay, so don’t get obsessed and try to convince her, it makes you look desperate and not at all attractive.

Via GQ Mexico and Latin America.

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