Do you fall in love quickly? Then you should be careful – you thereby attract people who are not good for you

 Do you fall in love quickly? Then you should be careful - you thereby attract people who are not good for you

They do exist, these people who just a few days after a breakup have the next partner by their side. “How do they do it?” Friends, family and colleagues ask themselves. How is it possible that someone is ready for the next partnership so soon after the end of a relationship – and how? finds does this person quickly find someone who wants to be with them?

Studies, via “Psychology Today” reported in an article, contain one possible answer to these questions: Those who commit very quickly will often find what they are looking for – but tend not to be happy in the long term.

There are according to the research especially women who have a tendency to jump into partnerships a little hastily. And those who do are more likely than others to be attracted to traits that psychologists place on the so-called “Dark Triad”.

These traits include narcissism, psychopathy, and macchiavelism – that is, low moral standards and low compassion. All three personality traits are expressed in callous, antisocial, or manipulative behavior.

The researchers found: People who fall in love quickly and easily feel particularly drawn to people who have precisely these negative character traits. The research team came to this conclusion after 257 test subjects – male and female – gave them information about what their perfect partner should be. They also filled out questionnaires in which the scientists asked them about their own personality traits. In this way, the researchers recognized whether a test person tended to fall in love often and quickly.

Test subjects who fell in love quickly were more indiscriminate

In a second study, reported on Psychology Today, the scientists had 189 female test subjects evaluate fake dating profiles belonging to men whose personalities the researchers had previously classified on the dark triad. These included profiles of men who were either very high on the dark triad – those who were narcissistic, macchiavelist, or psychopathic – and those in whom these negative traits were only very weak.

The researchers found again: The women who typically fell in love easily with someone else rated the men with the poor character traits better than their colleagues, who took longer to fall in love.

However: the women, who tended to fall in love quickly, felt too allen Men more attracted to dating profiles – not just the bad guys. The likelihood that they will come across a narcissistic, manipulative man in their urge to fall in love is therefore still higher than with women who do not feel attracted to someone so quickly.

But why are people who fall in love faster, more likely to come across people with negative character traits? The researchers suspect that in the cases they examined, it is because of the positive feeling that such a person has a love affair. In order to be able to reward themselves again and again with this beautiful emotion, those affected tend to ignore warning signs that could indicate to them that their counterpart is, for example, a narcissist or a manipulator.

In addition, people who bond quickly are grateful sacrifices for people who rank high on the Dark Triad with their characters. Because if someone opens up to them quickly and without asking too much, it is easier for them to manipulate this person.

Ask friends and family for their opinion on your partner

What is particularly common for people who tend to fall in love quickly is also: Their great will to bond can make them more likely to become victims of narcissists, because they are often true masters at maintaining a friendly, charismatic and attractive facade. Psychology Today author Justin J. Lehmiller describes this in his article aptly: “You [Narzissten] put a lot of time and effort into their appearance, surround themselves with symbols of money and success and go to great lengths to say the ‘right’ (even if it is not true) in order to be attractive. “

But there is something you can do to avoid falling for such characters. Lehmiller’s tip on how you can prevent this: Ask those around you for their opinion on the person you fell in love with. Consult family or friends to get an outside perspective. And get these assessments if possible before you throw yourself into a wedding, for example, or have a child with the person concerned.

Being able to fall in love with another person quickly is not a bad thing per se, writes Justin J. Lehmiller. The only problem is that those who open up emotionally very quickly also open up faster to narcissists and other manipulative people – who in turn tend to take advantage of such feelings of love for themselves.


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